He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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