This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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