when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And then he peed in my hair
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