Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
