I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
