haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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