Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
