is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
