Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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