"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
