Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just pee around me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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