the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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