A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize