Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
