I heard we made out
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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