Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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