This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
