turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
