do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
