WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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