i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
