sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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