is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
