I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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