You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
