i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
MIDGETS
????
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
