i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
