Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
