I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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