Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
They have beer where we have blood.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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