More tranny stories later!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
