Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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