Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
