Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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