Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
