I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I bet he comes in French.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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