I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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