i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
