I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
