we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
