I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
sex in a hospital.. check
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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