How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
