Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
