No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
