and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
