He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
