Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
