i barfeds in our rink
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
