By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
