I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't deserve a penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
