i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
