I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
