fuck your aforementioned shoe
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
