my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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