dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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