He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
