you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
