Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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