Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
