Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
