its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
