porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
