Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think people are normalizing furries
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