Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
