Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
organizing the empties. That sober.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
