I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
