you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
