this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
a search helicopter?!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
