She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
