you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
