Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize