My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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