This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
operation harelip BJ is a go
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
