glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
