ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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