Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
